Category Archives: adventures

Hiking Lower Punchbowl, Tunnel, and Twister Falls

Hike number three of the season: Lower Punchbowl, Tunnel, and Twister Falls via Eagle Creek Trail. In addition to the three well-known falls, there are a handful of other falls along this trail, which is one of the most popular trails in the Columbia River Gorge.

Lower Punchbowl Falls, seen from above on Eagle Creek Trail.

Originally, I’d planned to hike down to Lower Punchbowl Falls, swim in its bowl, and then head back to my car—a quick and easy 3.8-mile out-and-back. While a shorter distance hike than I prefer, the allure of the waterfall and its swimmable bowl was strong: daily summertime access to water/swimming is one of the things I miss most about my pre-pandemic life and I was excited at the possibility of finally—FINALLY!—getting my toes wet. Given the day was set to be 90 degrees and was already well on its way to 70 degrees when I started the trail at 5:30 am, I figured the shorter distance of this hike would be offset by how much time I’d spend in or lounging near the water.

Eagle Creek flowing through bare trees burned in the 2017 Eagle Creek Fire and lush vegetation and wildflowers.

While researching the trail ahead of committing to it, I learned about Tunnel Falls, a few miles past Lower Punchbowl Falls. After watching a few YouTube videos of the hike to Tunnel Falls, I added it to my route, upping my hike to 12.2 miles roundtrip. Then, while discussing my hike plans at the gym, I learned about Twister Falls, just around the bend from Tunnel Falls. Of course I had to add it to my route, making my third hike of the season—and my third hike back after a nearly three-year break—a 13.4-mile out-and-back with 2,270 feet of elevation gain.

A section of very narrow, rocky trail with a vertical drop-off on one side (and no handrail on the other).

Of all the hiking I’ve done this year, this hike was pretty middle-of-the-road on paper: it wasn’t the longest in distance or duration, it wasn’t the most difficult or technical terrain, it wasn’t the most strenuous. And yet, it’s the one I’m most proud of.

Me, standing on the trail and smiling at the camera.

This trail was the most exposed of any I hiked this season. In many sections, it was similar to the exposure I encountered on the 2022 hike that broke my brain and triggered the very terrifying episode of mental illness on the trail that, after the 2022 season, kept me from hiking until this summer.

Many sections of the trail are very narrow and rocky. The sections of trail blasted out of the basalt cliff faces also feature vertical drops. In some, but not all, of these sections, cable handrails are installed. Many of the YouTube videos I watched of people hiking to Tunnel Falls showed and/or explicitly mentioned these cables. Learning of their existence is what convinced me to extend my original route.

A cable handrail installed into the side of the cliff face. The trail is very narrow and rocky. On the side opposite the handrail, a vertical drop-off.

Surprisingly, I used these cables only on the sections of trail immediately surrounding Tunnel Falls. Given my previous experience on exposed sections of trail, I figured I’d use them at every opportunity. Even more surprisingly, I didn’t experience any physical or mental markers of anxiety, panic, OCD, or derealization at any point during this hike. My heart rate remained steady, my palms didn’t sweat, my mouth didn’t dry up, my legs didn’t shake, my vision didn’t narrow, my hearing didn’t become muffled and echo-y, my head didn’t become light and fuzzy, my thoughts didn’t begin to race, I didn’t begin to catastrophize, the voices in my head didn’t taunt me or command me to yeet myself off the cliffs, etc. It won’t always be this way for me. At some point, my mental illnesses will rear their heads on the trail again. I’m grateful that hasn’t happened on any of the hikes I’ve done so far this season.

View from the tunnel behind Tunnel Falls looking from one end to the other.

Tunnel Falls is named such because there’s a literal tunnel behind the falls that you have to walk through to continue on the trail. It’s incredible. One of the most thrilling things I’ve experienced so far in my life. It is truly a shock to me that my brain didn’t lose its shit during either pass of this section of trail.

About a half mile past Tunnel Falls is Twister Falls. There are large flat rocks you can sit or sunbathe on. I stopped here for a few minutes to refuel electrolytes and carbs before heading back.

Me, smiling at the camera while crouched in a squat behind my pack on the large, flat rocks at Twister Falls.
Me, sitting on the large, flat rocks at Twister Falls, eating Pop-Tarts and drinking electrolytes before heading back down the way I came.

The 2017 Eagle Creek Fire burned through this area which means there’s very little tree canopy on this hike—very little shade on hot, sunny days; very little cover on wet, rainy ones. Plan, pack, and dress accordingly.

Tall purple wildflowers in front bare trees burnt in the 2017 Eagle Creek Fire.

Even with the scars from the fire, this is a beautiful hike. While the trees may be bare, there is plenty of other vegetation and life (lots of chipmunks!).

Lush vegetation and wildflowers along the trail and among the bare trees burnt in the 2017 Eagle Creek Fire.

This trail was much busier than I expected for so early on a very hot weekday morning. On my way up (“up”—the grade is so gradual it never feels like a hike in the expected sense) I encountered one person, a backpacker headed the opposite direction, toward the parking lot. On my way back, though, I encountered a fairly steady stream of people hiking to the areas I was coming from. And a lot of them seemed wholly unprepared??? For example, hiking in JEANS??? Not bringing a single drop of water or a water filtration setup??? Not bringing anything—no pack, no map, no nothing??? There were several separate people who stopped me at different points to ask what the name of the trail was, where it went, how long it was, etc. How do you venture into the wilderness—on a hot-ass day, no less—with no information, gear, hydration setup, or plan??? Inconceivable.

Eagle Creek flowing alongside the trail.

In the end, it worked out well that I tacked on Tunnel and Twister Falls and nine additional miles to my original route. The “path”—I’m using that term very loosely—between the trail and Lower Punchbowl Falls would’ve been very difficult, maybe impossible, to ascend, especially with a pack, even my small one—very steep, loose dirt, no defined route. I took one look and didn’t even consider attempting to descend. On I hiked.

Eagle Creek as seen from above on the trail.

I would absolutely do this trail again, ideally with a non-iPhone camera (it is for sure time to invest in a camera camera), and ideally continuing on past Twister Falls. I really am so happy to be back out on the trail.

My shadow on the trail, with one hand throwing up a peace sign above my head.

In the middle of writing this post, I sat down to lunch, pulled up YouTube, and hit play on the first video it recommended to me: a discussion from popular backpacker @MirandaGoesOutside about mental illness on the trail. Truly, the most apt video YouTube could have recommended me in that moment.

Hiking Tom Dick and Harry Mountain

Hike number two of the summer: Tom Dick and Harry Mountain via Mirror Lake, a nine-ish mile out-and-back in Mount Hood National Forest. This hike immediately joined Angel’s Rest and Riprap as one of my all-time favorites: so much green, so many wildflowers, and an awe-inducing 360-degree view of five (!) different mountains from the false summit. Because I began so early, I had the summit and my first pass of the false summit completely to myself. A dream.

Me, standing atop the false summit, with a snow-capped Mount Jefferson in the background.
At the false summit. Mount Jefferson is visible in the background. Out of frame to my left-ish are Mounts Adams, Rainer, and St. Helens. Mount Hood is directly in front of me.

The time of year (early July) and weather (almost completely clear skies, 70-sh degrees at the start, 80-ish degrees by the end) for sure played a big role in how enjoyable this hike was. I’m so grateful I had the flexibility to change my originally planned date to one with a better forecast.

Wildflowers and greenery lining a stretch of trail.

For whatever reason, despite reading the trail’s name and details a billion times on AllTrails and various local hiking blogs, until I came upon the junction to continue to the summit or loop around Mirror Lake, I didn’t realize the lake was an optional part of this hike. I decided to take the loop around the lake and holy fuck I’m so glad I did (I went clockwise).

Wooden signs posted to a tree directing hikers and backpackers which way to travel for various trails.

The lake isn’t visible from the junction, or for the first couple of minutes of walking. And then, there it is.

Mirror Lake reflecting the tree line and clear blue early morning sky.

It literally stopped me in my tracks. “Oh, wow,” I gasped when I spotted it. One of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. I feel so fortunate to live so close to such beautiful natural spaces, and to have the ability to explore them.

Unfortunately for me, Mirror Lake is also where the mosquitoes began. From this point on, the trail was full of them. As someone who is eaten alive by mosquitoes whenever they’re around, I have, historically, always doused myself in bug spray before beginning a hike and carried bug spray in my pack, dousing myself again several times along the way. Since moving to Oregon a few years ago, I’ve very rarely encountered mosquitoes in general and never on the trail. Because of this, and because I didn’t see any comments on AllTrails about mosquitoes on this trail, I removed my bug spray from my pack the night before this hike. What a mistake! From the lake on, I spent most of the hike swatting at mosquitoes and was covered in bites by the end. I itched so badly that it woke and kept me up at night for the better part of a week. Disaster.

View of Mount Hood from a stretch of lush, verdant trail.

This is a hike you do for the views, especially those of Mount Hood, which is right there. Personally, I think the views of Hood are equally as dramatic from the false summit and the actual summit.

View of Hood at the false summit:

View of Mount Hood from the false summit.

View of Hood at the actual summit, about half a mile further up trail:

A selfie of me, sweaty and smiling, with a mostly bare Mount Hood immediately behind me.

Famously, the summit also features a view of some communications (?) equipment, which deters from the experience for some. Personally, I wasn’t bothered by it; it’s off to the “side” and doesn’t take up much space or obstruct the view of the mountain. The communications equipment at the summit of Mount Defiance, which I hiked several weeks after this trail, is a different story.

The actual summit is roughly 0.6 miles past the false summit. You’ll have to hike and scramble over some rocky and sometimes steep-ish terrain to get there. The video below shows the first stretch of trail from the “back” side of the false summit to the actual summit.

The best overall view—the 360-degree view—is at the false summit. If you reach the false summit and don’t want to (or can’t) continue on for whatever reason—weather, blisters, joints, time, terrain, etc.—you won’t miss much. The video below is the view from the false summit. It’s hard to see in the video but all five mountains—Mounts Adams, Rainer, St. Helens, Jefferson, and Hood—were visible to the naked eye this day.

I learned too late that this hike can be turned into a loop by continuing past the summit and down to the parking lot via Sunrise Trail. I would have loved to do the loop! Even though I had service and could have texted a change in plans to the people who I share my hike details with, I chose to stick to my original plan. I can always do the loop next season.

Overall, this was a great hike on a perfect day. Aside from a brief freak-out about a completely made-up scenario while scrambling my way from the false summit to the actual summit, my mentally ill brain behaved, thank god. I’m so happy to be back out on the trail.

Hiking Angel’s Rest

Four weeks ago, I went for a hike. It was my first in nearly three years, after a few very bad episodes of mental illness on several different trails during the 2022 season rattled me so badly that I stopped hiking—a thing I love to do—altogether.

I hiked Angel’s Rest. I chose this trail because I’m familiar with it, it’s not strenuous or long, there’s no exposure, it’s close to home, and I know I have service the entire way (having service was important to me for this first hike back; in case mental illness things started happening, I could easily text/call someone).

The sunrise peeking between trees at 4:43 am at the Angel's Rest trailhead parking lot.

I went early on a weekday, pulling into the parking lot just as the sun began to rise. This is the ideal arrival time for me. I’m an early morning person and I prefer to hike alone alone—to go by myself and to be by myself.

Shortly after I arrived, my brain began to bully me and after several minutes I actually drove away. I U-turned right before hitting the interstate on-ramp, headed back to the trailhead parking lot, re-parked my car, and spent the next 45 minutes negotiating with my brain. Once I got my shit together, I texted details about my hike to a friend, double-checked that I was sharing my location with her, and then I started.

The sun rising over the Columbia River Gorge.

This was my third time hiking this trail and my second-favorite experience of it. The first time I hiked it, in late May 2022, it was frigid and barren. I hiked it again two months later, in late July 2022, and it was gorgeous. Breathtaking, even. Everything was in full bloom and it was much more colorful and lush. This time around, it was in between—plenty of greenery, not much other color and not many blooms yet, hence the lack of photos.

A selfie of me on a boulder, with the early morning Columbia River in the background.

Shortly before the false summit, there’s a large boulder the size of a small boulder on the edge of a bend in the trail. It’s my favorite part of the hike. Each time I’ve hiked this trail, I’ve gotten photos of me atop it. I love repetition in memorykeeping; it’s fun to have multiple iterations of the (essentially) same composition and subject.

I’m glad I chose this trail for my first return-from-mental-illness hike. Aside from the first few minutes in the parking lot, my brain behaved and I had a really good time. All of the reasons I picked it—I’m familiar with it, it’s not strenuous or long, there’s no exposure, it’s close to home, and I know I have service the entire way—are what made it a success.

Having a good experience gave me the confidence to try another hike the following week and now, four weeks later, I’ve hiked four more trails—one a week for the last four weeks—and have survived each both physically and mentally unscathed: I haven’t been serial-killed or attacked by wildlife or—and this is the real accomplishment—yeeted myself off a cliff.

Fog rolling in at a rocky stretch of trail on Angel's Rest trail.

I plan to continue hiking once a week for the next three weeks. After that, my high-schooler will be back in school and the rhythm of our days will change. I don’t yet know how hiking will fit into them. I’d like to keep hiking through mid-October. If these two summer months end up being it for my 2025 season, that’s okay. I logged many more miles on the trail this summer than I expected to and I’m so grateful that I did. I’ve missed hiking so badly and I’m beyond happy to be back. I feel more like myself when I’m out there.

A patch of small yellow and white wildflowers at the Angel's Rest summit.

Post-hike, I picked up a mini pizza from a pizza place that I loved as a kid (and still love as an adult) and set up shop with it and a library book under the tree out front, where I spent the entire rest of my afternoon and evening. A dream. I love being outside (during nice weather).

After I got home and before I set up outside, I filled in the entry for this hike in my Letterfolk Hike Passport, while the details I wanted to include were still fresh. In keeping with the format I’ve followed for this project so far, I’ll eventually have a photo from the hike professionally printed and staple it to that dot-grid page (the Instax photos will be clipped to inside of the back cover).

Details about my hike written in my Letterfolk Hike Passport.

The yellow flower-shaped clip is from a pack of Midori P-51 clips, which I’m almost certain I bought at Cargo but may have picked up at Oblation (two local stores I love). You can find these clips in various shapes in a number of online stationery shops.

Hike details

Trail: Angel’s Rest
Land: Columbia River Gorge National Scenic Area (Oregon side)
Land management: Columbia River Gorge Commission, Friends of the Columbia River Gorge, U.S. Forest Service
Distance: 4.5-ish miles
Type: Out-and-back; can be looped with Devil’s Rest or Multnomah Falls, Wahkeena Falls, and Larch Mountain Trail
Elevation gain: about 1,500 feet
Exposure: None-ish (I guess technically there’s a bit at the summit, but it isn’t “forced”—you don’t have to go near it)
Sun/shade: Mostly shaded; no shade at the false summit or actual summit and some stretches of trail without shade
Water source: Pretty early into the hike there’s one water source; not everyone will find it accessible. If you do bottle water from it, make sure you have purification tablets or a water filter
Trail traffic: This is a very popular hike and the trail can get very crowded, especially after mid-morning and on the weekends
Weather forecast: Bridal Veil, OR, 97010
Directions from Portland: exit 28 (Bridal Veil) off I-84 East
Parking: Paved lot with about 20 spots; no pass, permit, or payment required
Bathrooms: None at the trailhead, plenty of places off-trail to pop a squat
Cell service: I had full service the entire time (Verizon)
Other notes: I think this is a pretty easy trail and very dog- and kid-friendly (if you bring your dog, LEASH THEM!!!). There are some rocky stretches that require you to pay a little extra attention. Since buying them in mid-2022, I always hike in my hiking boots, and I generally recommend hiking in hiking shoes or boots. Unless you’re worried about your ankles and think (or know) the stability from high-tops would be helpful, especially on the rocky portions of trail, you can probably do this one in regular tennis shoes. If you’re worried about your ankles (or knees, for that matter), you might also find trekking poles helpful.

A look inside my Letterfolk Hike Passports

Several years after buying them and then promptly and steadfastly refusing to write in them lest I mess up and ruin them, I’m officially caught up with my Letterfolk Hike Passports. The bad news is, I did indeed mess up the first four entries/spreads in one booklet. The good news is, it didn’t actually ruin anything. I just paper-clipped those pages together and moved on.

A bunch of 3-inch by 4-inch photos from a bunch of my different hikes spread around a Letterfolk Hike Passport and pink Ellepi stapler atop my wooden desk.

The other bad news is, Letterfolk seems to have discontinued their entire Passport product line, which is a major bummer. Memorykeeping can be overwhelming. Because these little booklets were formulaic, simple, and affordable, they were a very accessible way to begin or restart a memorykeeping practice. I’m sad to see them go. (At the time of posting this, there are still a few varieties in stock, for 40% off.) (Maybe the product line is undergoing a redesign and relaunch, not being discontinued???)

Why share how I use this thing when it’s no longer available? I think it’s inspiring to see different approaches to memorykeeping, even when the exact materials are sold out or discontinued. Also, this approach to memorykeeping can be replicated or adapted using a Moleskine Cahier Pocket Journal or Field Notes notebook. Having a look inside my Hike Passports might help you figure out how you want to approach your own DIY version.

I’ve never used a Field Notes notebook, so I can’t attest to their quality. I have used Moleskine Cahiers and I mostly like them. My one complaint is the paper is pretty thin so you need to be careful with what writing utensil you use. Both the Moleskine Cahier Pocket Journals and the Field Notes notebooks measure the same as the Letterfolk Passports (3.5″ x 5.5″); have multiple cover options; offer plain, ruled, graph, and dot-grid paper options; and are priced at $12.95 for a set of three.

Each Hike Passport has room to document 20 hikes. There are also some extra pages in back to put a gear wish list, hike bucket list, and some other stuff.

Hike Passport back matter spread titled "hikes worth remembering"
Hike Passport back matter spread titled "animals spotted while hiking"
Hike Passport back matter spread titled "hike bucket list" on the left and "gear wish list" on the right.
Hike Passport back matter spread titled "rite of passage checklist" on the left and the back cover with a list of 10 beautiful hikes in the United States and some wildlife information.

Each of the 20 documenting spreads has a templated page on the left and a dot-grid page on the right. The templated page on the left has space to document details like the date, trail, location, distance, who you hiked with, the gear you brought, the weather you encountered, types of terrain, snacks you ate, how busy the trail was, how difficult the trail was, how long it took you to complete, etc. On the right, a dot-grid page for you to put whatever you want; I chose to include a photo from each hike. Other, more fun options of things to put here: a park or parking pass, a piece of trail map, a wrapper from a snack or the tag from one piece of gear or another that you bought for the hike, or a leaf or flower from the trail (if that’s legal where you are).

A blank inside spread of my Letterfolk Hike Passport. On the left page, a templated "form" of sorts to fill out prompted information. On the right page, a dot-grid.

If you DIY your own version of a Letterfolk Passport, you could create a template for whatever theme you choose to document (hikes, date nights, wine tasting, movies, recipes, etc.), print out however many copies you need to fill your notebook, and adhere each template to whichever side of the page you want. Or you could just write whatever you want to remember about each entry on whichever side of the page you want. On the facing page, you could include a photo, sketch a scene from your adventure, journal about whatever you did, or preserve a piece or small collection of ephemera (a movie ticket stub, a coaster, a piece of a menu, a receipt, a photo booth photo strip, etc.).

Here’s a look at a few of my completed (“completed”) pages. I don’t fill out every field for every entry, just the details that I kept track of (or, when working backward, the ones that I remember) and that feel relevant to me for that particular hike. I also don’t worry about including every detail—I save the more thorough write-ups for a private journal. These booklets are just a fun way to quickly get some of the details down. I’ve included a variety of pages below, so you can see the variance in details between entires and how informally I organize my thoughts on the page. It doesn’t have to be perfect!

Unknown trail somewhere in Shenandoah; hiked May 24, 2015. An early birthday hike with my then-partner and two of my kids. And what an adventure (derogatory) it was: I lost my phone when we drove away from the Visitor Center with it on the roof of the car. We had to drive all the way back home (about two and a half hours) to drop the kids with their dad, pull up Find My Phone on my Mac at home (my then-partner had an Android so we couldn’t pull up the app on their phone), print out a map of where it was pinging to, drive all the way back out to Shenandoah (another two-and-a-half hour drive), and carefully traverse the very narrow shoulder of a very winding, highly trafficked road until I found it in the grass, completely unscathed. An actual miracle. Then we drove the final two and a half hours back home.

Spread of my hike on a trail I don't remember the name of in Shenandoah National Park, Virginia. Details about the hike are written on the left page, a photo of me from the hike is on the right page, with the date of the hike stamped beneath it.

Upper Whiteoak Falls; hiked July 12, 2015. An anniversary hike. This trail is a gorgeous out-and-back with multiple spots to climb out onto huge rocks in the water (we lunched on some), and an amazing waterfall you can swim beneath at the top/turnaround point. Not at all difficult, very kid- and (leashed) dog-friendly. (The weekend after we did this trail we went back out with the kids, two of whom were under five years old at the time, and they had no trouble with it.)

Spread of my Whiteoak Falls hike in Shenandoah National Park, Virginia. Details about the hike are written on the left page, a photo of me from the hike is on the right page, with the date of the hike stamped beneath it.

Old Rag; hiked June 16, 2019. My first “real” hike, my first solo hike, and my first time encountering scramble.

Spread of my Old Rag hike in Shenandoah National Park, Virginia. Details about the hike are written on the left page, a photo of me from the hike is on the right page, with the date of the hike stamped beneath it.

Cedar Run to White Oak Fire Road Loop; attempted January 30, 2020 (did not finish (DNF)). This was…a hike. The blazes on this trail were very poorly marked and with so many leaves on the ground it was difficult to tell if you were even on a trail. I turned back much sooner than planned because it started to snow (not forecasted!) and I was out there alone. Until I wasn’t. Shortly after I turned back, an unleashed, angry dog was running straight for me, its owner nowhere in sight. The dog was extremely aggressive and lunged at me several times, barking and growling and baring its teeth. I ended up having to throw my backpack, sticks, and branches from the ground at it to get it to back the fuck up off me. Its owner eventually caught up and spent what felt like an eternity trying to get hold of the dog’s collar and control it so I could safely keep walking away. LEASH YOUR FUCKING DOGS, PEOPLE!!!

Spread of my Cedar Run hike in Shenandoah National Park, Virginia, which I did not finish. Details about the hike are written on the left page, a photo of ice-capped rocks is on the right page, with the date of the hike stamped beneath it.

Wahkeena Falls Loop/Multnomah Falls; hiked April 24, 2022. An impromptu hike. I went to see the falls, saw the sign for the loop, and said “fuck it” and set out.

Spread of my Wahkeena Falls Loop hike at Multnomah Falls just outside Portland, Oregon. Details about the hike are written on the left page, a photo of Multnomah Falls is on the right page, with the date of the hike stamped beneath it.

El Paso Tin Mines Trail; hiked May 7, 2022. A hike with my oldest, to celebrate her 17th birthday. It was extremely hot this day, just like every other day in El Paso. We should’ve brought more water (there’s no water sources along the way). Climbing down into and then wandering through the mines was so fucking cool.

Spread of my Old Tin Mines hike in El Paso's Franklin Mountains. Details about the hike are written on the left page, a photo of me from the hike is on the right page, with the date of the hike stamped beneath it.

Dog Mountain; hiked May 20, 2022. This is a very popular (crowded) trail. If you, like me, are not a social or leisurely hiker, you will find yourself bottlenecked and annoyed many times along the way, even if you go early as fuck on a weekday. Physically, it’s great. It’s the hike equivalent of any workout on the assault or Echo bike—all lungs and legs. The ascent is immediate and unrelenting (making the way back down more of a trail run than a hike), and the views are gorgeous.

Spread of my Dog Mountain hike on the Washington side of the Columbia Gorge. Details about the hike are written on the left page, a photo of me from the hike is on the right page, with the date of the hike stamped beneath it.

Elk Mountain/King’s Mountain Loop; attempted May 28, 2022 (DNF). This hike almost killed me. Literally. It’s the only hard-rated trail I’ve hiked that’s actually hard, and it’s the reason I haven’t been back out on the trail since the end of the 2022 season; I managed only four hikes after this one, two of which I didn’t finish. This trail/experience really fucked me up, mentally.

Spread of my Elk Mountain/King's Mountain Loop hike in Tillamook State Forest near the Oregon coast, which I did not finish. Details about the hike are written on the left page, a photo of me from the hike is on the right page, with the date of the hike stamped beneath it.

Angel’s Rest; hiked July 31, 2022. My second time on this trail, this time with two of my kids. Pretty short and easy, and by far the prettiest and lushest trail I’ve hiked. If you find yourself in or near Portland in July or August and looking for a hike, I highly recommend this one.

Hart’s Cove via Upper and Lower Cascade Head; hiked October 1, 2022. My last hike of the 2022 season, and the last time I hiked. I’d tried this same trail a few weeks earlier and had to turn back after about four miles because of enveloping wildfire smoke and a mentally ill brain that kept telling me to jump off the oceanside cliff. I’m glad I went back. I’m glad I got the full hike in before they closed the trail, and even though it was a mentally exhausting experience thanks to my OCD and derealization kicking in again on the most precarious portions of trail. I truly have not been the same out there since Elk’s Mountain/King’s Mountain.

Spread of my Hart's Cove hike in Neskowin/Siuslaw National Forest along the Oregon Coast. Details about the hike are written on the left page, a photo of me from the hike is on the right page, with the date of the hike stamped beneath it.

I worked on this project in real time for all of my 2022 hikes so they have the most accurate and complete entries. For all of my pre-2022 hikes, I worked backward, completing each hike’s entry in December 2024. Because of this, some of these hikes don’t have as many details (some of them don’t even have a trail name listed), are missing a stamped date beneath the photo (my date stamp goes back to only 2020; I wrote the dates of my pre 2020-hikes in the space provided at the top on the left-side page), and the numbering of each hike in the top left is fucked up (I started both booklets with “1,” oops). Oh well.

I used the free/basic version of the AllTrails app to measure distance and elevation for most of my hikes beginning in 2020. Stats for hikes prior to 2020—if I listed them at all—are estimates pulled from the hike’s AllTrails page. I included all hikes, even ones I didn’t finish, regardless of the reason. Every hike received its own entry, which means the trails I’ve hiked more than once have more than one entry.

I decorated my current Hike Passport—the one that includes all my 2022 hikes and still has room for a few more—with some stickers. On the inside cover, Owen Wilson saying “WOW,” because of how often I find myself stopping to take in the views around me and, à la Owen Wilson, saying, “WOW” over and over and over. I found this sticker on Etsy. Sadly, it’s no longer available.

The inside cover of one of my Hike Passports featuring a sticker in the shape of a speech bubble with an illustration of Owen Wilson's face in the center and the word WOW above it.

On the back, a “THE HIKER” sticker modeled after a tarot card, that I found at Powell’s. That red paperclip is holding additional photos for, and index cards with notes about, some of the hikes.

The back of one of my Hike Passports with a mostly pink, purple, and yellow sticker of a hiker setting off through trees into snow-capped mountains.

* * *

Supplies

Letterfolk Hike Passport: This entire product has seemingly been discontinued, sorry! A few other Passports in the collection are still available (and at 40% off!) at the time of posting.

Photos: For my regular Project Life album I print my photos at home (I use a 10-year-old Epson PM-400 that I love and recommend). For projects like this one where the photos are exposed and handled directly, I print my photos through Persnickety Prints. Their website is a little janky. Their quality and service is unmatched. They’ve been my go-to photo printing service for a decade. Unless you truly need your photos immediately, there’s no need to pay for expedited shipping. Standard shipping (their default option) is incredibly fast and, with the exception of literally one time in 10 years that the post office lost the shipment, it’s never taken anywhere near 7-10 days to arrive, not even when I lived on the other side of the country.

Stapler: Ellepi Klivia 97, $25-ish (it comes with a little sleeve of 1,000 staples). If your local paper goods shop or craft store doesn’t carry Ellepi, try Little Otsu or Porchlight, two of my favorite Portland businesses. (Fun fact: Ellepi is a four-person Italian team and they make all of their products by hand.)

Date stamp: Miseyo self-inking date stamp.

Pen: Pilot G2 Premium Gel Roller (0.7mm).

Seven creative projects and small adventures I want to take on in 2025

In addition to continuing with my regular memorykeeping practice, I’m hoping to make more things and go on more small adventures this year. Here are seven creative projects and small adventures I’d like to take on in 2025:

1. Build a website from scratch

For what? I don’t know yet. Maybe one of the many iPhone photography projects I’ve got going on. Maybe for something I haven’t thought of yet. Back in the day when personal blogs were a thing, many of us learned basic HTML and CSS so we could customize our blog’s look and feel to our liking (who else remembers Katrina’s incredible labor of love Pugly Pixel? Or Elise‘s very beginner-friendly HTML e-courses and workshops?). It’s been about a decade since I’ve put any of what I once knew to use. I’d like to try. And I’d like to learn more than I did before.

2. Disposable camera

I’ve been wanting to do a film photography project for a while. I don’t have a film camera, nor can I afford one, and anyway I don’t know enough about photography to shoot on good film using a real camera and to get it developed. Not with these prices in this economy. What I do have are three 27-exposure disposable cameras, and what I do know is how to use them, and what I can afford-ish is to develop one (1) of them.

My disembodied hand holding three disposable cameras, still in their packaging, over an open drawer, in which they've been living for the last few years. Memorykeeping supplies and albums are in the bottom of the drawer.

These cameras are only (“only”) a few years old—I bought them in 2020 with the intention of using them to document the NINE coast-to-coast drives I made between DC-ish and Portland in 2020 and 2021—so I think the film’s still okay (?). We’ll see!

3. Photobooth photos

I love photobooths. Like, LOVE. Especially ones that still print black and white photos on film, which, sadly, seem to be nearing extinction. Still, whenever I see a photobooth, regardless of whether it prints in black and white or in color, or on film or is digital, I have to sit for a strip of photos. I don’t get the chance as often as I’d like—most photobooths here in the city are in bars and restaurants, two places that aren’t my scene. This year, I’d like to find some of the photobooths in the city that aren’t in bars and restaurants and sit for a strip of photos in each.

I know about the ones at Cargo (one of my favorite stores in Portland) and the Ace Hotel downtown. The one at Cargo hasn’t been there for quite some time (RIP)—more than a year, at least. The one at the Ace still prints in black and white, which I appreciate. Unfortunately, it’s no longer film, the color is different, the dimensions are a little weird, and it went up in price (though you do get two strips (different photos on each strip) instead of one now). Here’s a side-by-side of strips printed by the old Ace photobooth and the new one.

Two photo strips on top of a closed silver laptop. Both strips are black and white, though the coloring is different, as are the dimensions of the frames and number of frames per strip.

4. Portable scanner 

Last summer I saw this tweet of a New Yorker taking a portable scanner around the city. This type of project is extremely my shit. I think it’d be fun to do something similar.

5. Portland Movie Theater Project 

About six weeks ago, I, a person who cannot sit through a movie to save a life, decided I wanted to watch a movie in each of Portland’s historic or independently-owned movie theaters (there are 16 by my count). Initially, I planned to start in January. And then I changed my mind.

A small, historic movie theater is dimly lit by two beehive-inspired flush-mount light fixtures. The name of the movie, CONCLAVE, appears on the screen in a green-tinted light yellow font. The letters are tall and skinny, sans serif, and all-caps. The screen is flanked by curtains that appear to be a similar color as the title of the movie that's on-screen. A red carpeted walkway and the tops of empty seats are visible in the foreground.

I got started that week (Thanksgiving week) and knocked out four movies at four theaters before Sunday (Conclave was the first (and Sam Irby’s Instagram review of it made me laugh)). And then, in the weeks that followed, I saw two more movies at two different theaters. Six down, 10 to go.

6. Reread my favorite books from my youth

This was something I’d intended to do in 2024. Life had other plans. In the meantime, I’ve managed to get my hands on four of the five books on this list that I remember the titles of (I’m certain there are more than five books I loved while growing up, I just don’t remember them (it’s the trauma)). Once I have the brain space for this project, I just need to pick one up and start.

7. Sidewalk Joy Map

Portland has tons of Little Free Library-style installations, galleries, dioramas, and exchanges for all sorts of things: books, of course, and also handmade ceramics, keychains, mini art galleries, plants and seeds, puzzles, toys and trinkets, VHS tapes, yarn and other fiber arts supplies, etc., etc., etc. A bunch of them—more than 100 at the time of writing—are catalogued by the PDX Sidewalk Joy project. Once the weather is warmer and drier, I’d like to use the Sidewalk Joy Map and accompanying PDF, which includes descriptions of each of the locations on the map, to visit as many as I can this year, ideally by walking and biking around the city. (This is such an incredible project—a huge thank you to Rachel and Grant, the people who started it and keep it going.)

Summer walks

One of the items on my 2024 summer bucket list was “go for more—and longer—walks” (meaning: “longer than the one-mile zig-zag that I sometimes do through my neighborhood”). And that I did. Beginning June 1 through September 15—my arbitrary “start of summer” and “end of summer” dates for this project—I walked about 215 miles.

While I did track roughly how many miles I walked out of curiosity, I wasn’t concerned with—and didn’t track—how many steps I took each day (I don’t even own a device that would do this) or how often I walked. This wasn’t an exercise goal for me. The idea behind this summer bucket list item was to spend more time outside, see more of Portland, and, for very predictable reasons (pollution, gas prices, maintenance costs), cut back on driving. And the fantasy of it was that I’d magically make friends and/or meet-cute the love of my life while out walking. I definitely spent more time outside and cut back on driving. I definitely didn’t magically make friends or meet-cute the love of my life. Sad!

I ran (heh) many of my errands this summer by walking: I walked to the library, to the pharmacy, to the post office, to the grocery store, to doctor appointments, to a haircut, to (and through!) parks and gardens and bookstores and cute shops full of things I both want and can’t afford. Some of those errands were less than a mile round-trip, others were closer to (or further than) ten. Many evenings I finished my day with a short two-mile loop around my neighborhood. Like many autistics, I struggle with transitions, even when they’re expected, planned, and/or wanted. I’ve found that walking a mile or two is a really good transition activity for my brain, especially at the end of the day.

I didn’t see as much of Portland via these walks as I’d hoped, in large part because I’m an extremely anxious and burnt-out autistic with very low and sensitive social and sensory batteries and tend to stick to what I know and what I know is my neighborhood and those immediately surrounding it.

My favorite part of these walks was finding little treasures along the way. Most of the things I found were on the ground. A few of them were hanging onto a telephone pole or wall by their last thread. I collected them all in a document box. I’m not yet sure what to do with it all aside from take a few flat-lay photos. Maybe a photo zine/book/album?

I really enjoyed this summer bucket list item. While I didn’t see as much of the city as I’d hoped, I did accomplish my goals of spending more time outside and cutting back on driving. Do I plan to keep at it? Absolutely. Will I walk as frequently or as far during the cold and wet months? Absolutely not. I don’t anticipate going on regular walks, and certainly not longer ones, until next spring.

(As much as I enjoyed my walks this summer, I would’ve rather spent the season hiking in the Gorge or the Coastal Range than walking in the city. I didn’t because I (1) prefer to hike alone, (2) had a few pretty intense and scary mental illness episodes while hiking alone throughout the 2022 season (the last time I went hiking) and haven’t felt safe hiking alone since, and (3) don’t know anyone to hike with while. Walking around the city, where I’m never very far from home and have plenty of people around to ask for help if I need it, seemed like a smart compromise.)

Truthfully, I’d like to graduate to biking around the city next year and, mental stability pending, save the walking for the hiking trails. Is it likely I’ll be mentally stable enough to return to hiking? Doubt. Do I have a bike? No. Do I know anyone I could borrow one from? Also no. Do I have the money to buy one? Definitely no. Did they just remove the BIKETOWN station that was inches from my apartment and with it some of the motivation and convenience to rent a bike? They did. Do I know how to ride a bike? I do. Do I know how to ride a bike in traffic? Absolutely not. Am I legitimately scared to try? Yes. Will I let any of those things stop me from trying? Almost certainly. We’ll have to wait till next year to find out.

* * *

Although I’m wearing running shoes in the photo at the top of the post, I walked almost all of this summer’s 215 miles in a pair of Birks that I wore to the bone.

Could I buy a “better” shoe that’s specifically designed for walking? For sure. Do I want to? Hard no. I love my Arizonas. And of all the pairs I have (I have multiple pairs, some for wearing inside and some for wearing outside; they’re sensory heaven for my feet), I especially love this pair. I love that all the miles I walked in them and all the love I have for them is clearly evident with even the briefest glance at them.

Sad girl summer: my 2024 summer bucket list

At the end of May I made a summer bucket list. I was feeling sad about how empty and flat and lonely my life feels as (1) an autistic person who (2) still takes COVID seriously (it is extremely lonely out here) and hoped that making a list of autism-friendly and COVID-safer things to do around town, and then working my way through the list, would help me feel more alive and less lonely and sad.

The back of a street sign in Portland, Oregon, with a white circular sticker that says "SAD GRL" in bubblegum pink.

My list ended up with 18 items on it. I completed (or completed-ish) 13 of them and plan to complete another one tomorrow, so I’m counting it as completed in the list below. Completed items are bolded. Completed-ish items are bolded and italicized.

  1. Archery
  2. Bouldering
  3. Bowling
  4. Cinnabon
  5. Farmer’s market, flea market, or estate sale
  6. Finish an art/craft/creative project
  7. Flower arranging class
  8. Go for more—and longer—walks
  9. Ice cream
  10. Local bookstore I haven’t been to yet
  11. Mini golf
  12. Museum
  13. Photo booth
  14. Photograph street art
  15. Pizza in the park
  16. Puzzle
  17. Sport/athletic activity I haven’t tried
  18. Tropical Smoothie

I also ended up doing/trying a few things that I didn’t know about when I first made the list: I stopped by an outdoor comedy night held at a park near my apartment, and, on a different evening at the same park, an original practice Shakespeare performance of A Midsommer Nights Dreame; I spent a couple hours at the Adult Soapbox Derby, a well-known Portland summer event held each year at a different park near my apartment; I went to the first night of Portland Night Market in July.

A view of the first few minutes of Portland Night Market in July 2024, as seen from above. A handful of tables with various goods such as clothing, jewelry, and baked goods are set up in the space and a few people are walking around.

Another main idea behind making this list was to not sit and spiral in my apartment all summer. Last summer was incredibly rough for me, in very large part because of (1) a health issue that triggered the most severe and prolonged flare of my most disabling mental illnesses that I’ve ever experienced (it’s been more than a year and I still haven’t recovered to baseline), and (2) the extreme heat, which prolonged and intensified that flare (extreme temps are one of my most reliable triggers for these particular mental illnesses). That whole episode—the health issue, the mental illness flare, the extreme heat—bled into other concurrent situations/experiences, which led to me becoming suicidal and, ultimately, quitting my job. That was my first (and hopefully only) experience with suicidality and I HATED being in that headspace. It was uncomfortable and scary and unsustainable.

I didn’t want a repeat this summer of how I felt last summer, so I made this list of things to do to help me get myself out of my head—and apartment!—when my brain started braining too frequently and/or intensely. In that regard, this list was a success.

A typical English garden front yard of a SE Portland home on a sunny, clear-sky day with a variety of brightly colored flowers and plants, some of which are crawling on a trellis fence.

I made it a point to think of this list as a menu of options of stuff to do when I had the time/money/spoons rather than a to-do list of items that all had to be checked off. I knew it was more likely than not that I wouldn’t complete the entire list and I didn’t want to feel bad about that or like I failed (or like I was the failure). I also steered clear of adding anything to the list that was primarily or exclusively about productivity (ew) or organizing/volunteering/advocating (things I do a lot of already). I wanted the list to be full of side quests that prioritized social, emotional, and/or intellectual sustenance—things that filled my cup more than they emptied it.

I hoped these little side quests would infuse some fun and joy into my life. Sometimes they did, though not as much or as often as I hoped they would. Honestly, as the summer went on, I became more angry and sad and full of grief about COVID and the parts of my life I’ve lost to it, and about how hard it is to be autistic, especially when everyone around you dismisses you as “high functioning” so you don’t get the help or support you need. By July I felt lonelier than I did at the start of summer a month earlier.

Reservoir #5 at the top of Mt. Tabor Park in Portland, Oregon, featuring a very blue sky and very green trees and grass. The reflection of the sky and trees in the water makes it appear a rich blue-green.

A lot of the stuff I did this summer, I did alone. While I’m used to and often enjoy doing things alone, it can feel really depressing sometimes when doing things alone is your only or primary option. So many of the things on this list would’ve been so much more enjoyable and fun and nourishing with a friend or a small group of friends. How, though? (Rhetorical.) It’s hard enough to make friends as an adult for people who aren’t autistic and/or who don’t still take COVID seriously. It feels impossible as someone who’s both.

A hopscotch and the sentence "It isn't all that bad." with a heart at the end, written in chalk on a neighborhood sidewalk. Spotted during one of my end-of-summer evening walks.

As shitty as I felt at times, the summer wasn’t a bust. Making and then tackling this list accomplished the goal of getting me out of my head—and my apartment!—and into the world, which helped mitigate the frequency and intensity of my mental illness flares.

Overall, I’m happy I did this project and I wish I had more—and local!—people in my life to share experiences and make memories with. Thanks to all the walks I went on this summer, I learned about a few still-COVIDing spaces and events in the city that I didn’t previously know about, which makes the idea of finding those people feel a little less impossible. We’ll see where fall takes me.

* * *

It would’ve made much more sense to post this list at the start of summer and then drop in with little updates here and there throughout the summer, I KNOW. Oh well. My plan is to share more details about some of the activities on the list that I completed (or completed-ish) in the coming weeks. And yes, I’m already working on a similar list ahead of the colder months so I can avoid as much temperature-induced spiraling year-round as I can.