Category Archives: miscellaneous

Currently: April 2025

AIMING to try one new crafty, creative thing each month this year. I missed January (oh well), I crocheted a small basket in February, I ordered and completed a custom puzzle in March, and I plan to tackle this paint-by-numbers this month. What comes after that, I don’t yet know.  

A not-yet-started desert-scene paint-by-numbers canvas flanked by paints, paint brushes, and a color printout of what the final product is meant to look like.

CUTTING back on what and how often I buy from Amazon. I’m doing my best to buy local when possible, and to limit ordering from Amazon to once a week at most.

DEBATING whether to invest in a Skylight (or similar) Calendar. While my household consists of just two of us—my son and me—there is a lot of friction between us. We both struggle with executive function-heavy tasks, and my autism and his ADHD clash to near-death daily, especially over household chores and responsibilities. I think having a centralized, always-visible, clear display of our schedules and chores would help dissipate some—enough—of said friction and clashing.

DUSTING off the pile of memorykeeping projects that fell victim to my autistic inertia and spent the winter in a bin in the basement, and hoping that bringing them back into my daily field of vision will somehow be enough to coax my brain out of the prison of itself and make progress on at least one of them.

FINDING so much inspiration in Uzo Njuko—in her creativity and vision and dedication and determination, in her confidence in herself and her work, in her openness in sharing her creative and business processes and experiences on Twitter

HYPERFIXATING on preparing for the triple-digit heat later summer will bring, as a heat-intolerant renter living in 85-year-old apartment with large, single-pane, south-facing windows and no AC. 

LISTENING to (and loving!) the Obitchuary podcast. I started from the very beginning in January and just finished the 100th episode over the weekend, which means I’m still two years behind, which means I still have so many episodes to listen to, yay! Spencer and Mr. Eyes’s friendship brings me so much joy—theirs is the type of companionship I yearn for. 

LOOKING very forward to the first batch of big-bouquet gym flowers of the year. The other week the flower farmer and florist who goes to the same gym as I do brought in the first batch of small bouquets of the year—the most airy, delicate, and softly colored daffodils I’ve ever seen. I cannot wait for the bigger bouquets.

Bouquets of creamy white, orange, and pink daffodils accented by cherry blossoms in a wooden crate on top of shelf.

MAKING this year’s summer bucket list, which so far includes a lot of the same (or similar) items as last year’s

MOURNING the sudden and unexpected loss of the only planner I’ve ever loved and actually consistently used (I used it every single day for more than FOUR YEARS), after the brand recently completely changed the design and layout and content of said planner’s pages so significantly that they essentially created a new product—one that is not compatible with my brain—without any notice or explanation! I found out only when my most recent shipment arrived. I was, without exaggeration, devastated. I’ve been looking for an adequate replacement for weeks and have yet to find anything that will do. Sad! (I’m autistic! I’m not good with change! Especially unexpected change! And extra especially unexpected change to a tool I’ve used daily for nearly five years to help me manage my extremely fucked-up executive dysfunction.)

NEARING the end of my Portland Movie Theater Project, with just a few theaters left on the list. I’m not sure yet how I’ll document this project, or if a physical memorykeeping project will even come of it. We’ll see.

OBSESSING over my fresh-off-the-press Betty White stamps—and inventing reasons to send happy mail to the three friends I have, all of whom live thousands of miles away, so I have a reason to use—and brighten someone else’s day with!—them. I’m also in love with these forthcoming Goodnight Moon stamps. 

READING the essay collection Y2K: How the 2000s Became Everything (also sometimes (?) titled Y2K: A Witty and Poignant Reflection on Recent HistoryThrough a Contemporary Lens, See How Y2K Shaped Our Past, Present, and Future) by Colette Shade and…

REMINISCING about Orbitz soda and Fruitopia “juice” and dELiA*s and Alloy and inflatable furniture and Afterthoughts and the Icing and Claire’s and Donkey Kong and A/S/L and TRL and Nokia phones and cucumber melon everything and boy bands and spaghetti strap tank tops and frosted wet n wild makeup and Special K cereal and Beanie Babies and boomboxes and Sam Goody and Border’s and Dickies and studded belts and puka shell necklaces and black Steve Madden platform wedge sandals and butterfly clips and translucent electronics and the cool S and dial-up and the magazine aisle at the grocery store and a million trillion other turn-of-the-century relics. 

SPENDING as much time outside as possible before it becomes too hot to breathe. On the days it’s nice out, I live my quiet little life in the patch of grass in front of my apartment, and, in the evenings, on the steps out back—soaking in the sun, reading books, listening to podcasts, working out, eating lunch and dinner, scrolling Twitter, watching YouTube videos, watching the birds and sometimes the bugs, simply existing, etc. 

STOCKING up on puzzles from the Portland Puzzle Exchange so that when, come July and August and several random days in September and October, it’s too damn hot to do anything except stay inside and lie on the floor and barely move, I have something low-commitment, low-pressure, and enjoyable to help me pass the time. 

THINKING a lot about how grateful I am that my kids had the privilege of living the vast majority of their childhoods pre-COVID, and that I had the privilege of parenting them through that phase of life pre-COVID. As someone who is still-COVIDing, I have so much empathy and compassion for everyone else who is also still-COVIDing, especially the parents of younger kids. 

WATCHING (finally! (for the first time ever!)) Grey’s Anatomy. I’m roughly halfway through season 12 (I finally made it to the infamous Elisabeth Finch storyline last night) and, frankly, surprised by how much I like the show. Lucky for me, I’ve got at least 10 more seasons to enjoy.

WORKING on establishing a consistent practice of genuine gratitude, which does not come to me naturally or easily or comfortably. I’ve started by making a list of the things I like about my apartment, the place I spend most of my time and the thing about which I spend much of my time complaining. This apartment is tiny and ancient and not my ideal home. This apartment is also a blessing, and there are plenty of things I like and love and appreciate about it. The list I’m drafting is meant to help me remember—and focus on—the latter perspective more often than the former.

WRITING this post on my phone in the middle of yet another sleepless night. Such is the burden of the autistic brain. Woof. 

My “Why didn’t I think of this!!!” list

In my phone I have a note titled “Why didn’t I think of this!!!” It’s a list of creative projects that I (1) think are clever, fun, and smart, (2) wish I’d thought of, and (3) find inspiring and generative. Today I’m sharing some of the projects on that list here.

A mural painted on the side of a SE Portland neighborhood of caricatures of people that kind of look like cute monsters. The question WHO INSPIRES YOU? is painted in all caps above them.

Food diaries and a cookbook

Leaked Recipes by data researcher Demetria Glace (photography by artist Emilie Baltz) is a cookbook of more than 50 recipes—and the stories behind them—that were found in some of the world’s biggest email leaks (Enron, Hillary, Pizzagate, Wikileaks, etc.). Genius. Though it’s useless to me on a practical level as a stereotypically extremely picky autistic eater, I wish I’d bought the book when I had the money to.

Sylvia Plath’s Food Diary, a Twitter account—curated by writer Rebecca Brill (who also runs @sontagdaily) and illustrated by painter Lily Taylor—that tweets “everything sylvia plath ate according to her journals, letters, poems, the bell jar & other texts.” That’s literally it. No added context, just excerpts. Love. For more about the project: an interview with its curator.

What I Ate for Lunch and Why, a blog that documents almost every lunch the blogger behind it ate from May 2008 until early December 2015 (and a few entries from 2017 thrown in). Extremely my shit. As the type of autistic who eats the same thing prepared the same way eaten out of the same container or off the same plate using the same silverware while sitting in the same spot at the same time every single day for months and months and months on end before switching things up, the sheer variety of foods eaten is impressive, fascinating, and incomprehensible to me.

What She Ate: Six Remarkable Women and the Food That Tells Their Stories by Laura Shapiro is a fantastic idea for a biographical essay collection. I love an oblique and unexpected angle into history.

Memoir-ish and adjacent writing

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy While Running” is a hermit crab essay by writer Megan Williams. A hermit crab essay is one that takes on an existing form or structure of another type of writing. In this case, Meg’s essay is written in the form of a CBT worksheet. So, so good. (Here is an archived version of it, in case Twitter dies or doesn’t let you see it without logging in or creating account.)

I love little glimpses into other peoples’ lives so naturally I love the classifieds. Over the years, I’ve read a handful of books and articles on the history of the classified ad, and a few pieces of work wherein the writer interviews the people behind the items they list in the classifieds. No one does it better than Miranda July (website, Instagram, Substack) in It Chooses You (I love everything she makes). In the book, a project she took on while procrastinating on another, she and photographer Brigitte Sire travel around Los Angeles, interviewing and photographing “a random selection of PennySaver sellers, glimpsing thirteen surprisingly moving and profoundly specific realities, along the way shaping her film, and herself, in unexpected ways.” A dream project.

Illustrator Carson Ellis‘s latest, One Week in January: New Illustrations for an Old Diary, is one of my favorite projects of the year. In it, she pairs new illustrations with an old diary that she kept for only a week before abandoning it—the year was 2001 and the entries document her first week in Portland as a young artist living with other artists/friends in a warehouse in southeast. I’m such a sucker for stuff like this. Sadly, I missed her author talk at Powell’s. Happily, I made the opening reception of her show at Nationale, which featured original paintings of the art in the book (sadly, I left way earlier than planned because my social and sensory batteries ran out way faster than anticipated). More about the project and an interview with Ellis here.

If you grew up in the 90s with AOL chat rooms and AIM and also enjoy peering into the private parts of peoples’ lives, you’ll probably love People I’ve Met from the Internet by Stephen van Dyck as much as I do. The book is a memoir—in the form of a very long annotated list—of his sex life as a gay teen on the early internet. It’s one of my all-time favorite projects. The concept and material are just so good—and similar-ish to a project that I’ve had in the works since 2017, which also draws inspiration from Sophie Calle’s True Stories, Carmen Maria Machado’s Inventory, Emily Spivack‘s book Worn Stories, and The Museum of Broken Relationships.

Pixel art

This Google Sheets pixel art by artist and creative director Kara Haupt blows my mind. I’m endlessly impressed by people who have a brain that works like this because mine does not (or at least, it has not yet), even when I’m given a pattern or instructions to follow.

I’m also deeply in love with Diane Meyer‘s work, in which she stitches pixelated squares directly onto photographs. Her entire portfolio is incredible. I especially love the scenes from Berlin and the 1970s class photos. (Meyer’s work reminds me of Anna Von Mertens‘s project “As the Stars Go By,” in which she hand-stitched onto large swaths of black cotton the star rotation pattern at different violent moments in history (Wounded Knee, Hiroshima, the assassination of MLK Jr., 9/11, bombings of Baghdad, etc.).)

Security envelope patterns

I can’t get over this curated collection of security envelope patterns. Hoping to craft something similar (I haven’t—yet), I started collecting security envelope patterns earlier this year after seeing a memorykeeper whose work I love used a cut-out from one as the title page for a mini album she made back in 2016 (she took her projects offline years ago and I don’t see an example of it anywhere on Pinterest so I can’t link to it, sorry!). When I saw the zine-like project I almost died. Both ideas are impossibly cool and creative.

My all-time favorite home tour

Years ago, Austin Kleon shared a link to a home tour with writer Olivia Laing. It immediately became—and remains—my all-time favorite home tour; it’s a comfort video for me, and I return to it often. The place is incredible. Full of art and books and beautiful and sentimental objects and ephemera, it just feels so cozy and eclectic and loved and lived in. It feels, too, very authentic to its inhabitants. And that English garden/yard—be still be still be still, my heart. It’s giving whimsy. It’s giving cottagecore. It’s giving Secret Garden.

Did you catch the part where she talks about her home being a love story? As an autistic who spends much of my life at home, where I have far more control over the sensory and social environment than I do outside of the space, I love this idea—and its sibling idea: your home can be a love letter to your life.

Currently: September 2024

Back in the olden days of the internet, “currently” and “around here” posts were popular with us personal bloggers. Many of us published one (or both) of these posts once every month or two. Sometimes these posts were used as filler when we didn’t have anything else to blog about at the moment, or when a more meaty blog post wasn’t ready yet.

A fresh, beautiful, end-of summer bouquet of pink, orange, and white dahlias and snapdragons and lots of green filler plants.

A lot of us also used “currently” and “around here” posts to document the details of our daily life at that point in time—many of us were moms with babies and toddlers and used our blogs as a creative outlet and a documenting/memorykeeping tool. These posts were also a way to connect with each other and share things we were excited about or inspired by before social media and influencing took over and diluted the experience.

I loved reading other bloggers’ “currently” and “around here” posts, and I loved sharing my own. Now that I’m back to personal blogging à la the olden days of the internet, I figured it’s time to reintroduce the “currently” genre/series here. Here are some things currently happening in my life.

* * *

COUNTING down the days (210) till season two of Severance

DELIGHTING in a Lindt LINDOR dark chocolate truffle before bed every night. 

DREAMING of living in a home that has laundry and a dishwasher and an HVAC system. Or even just one of those things. Imagine how much money and time and how many (metaphorical) spoons I’d save if I didn’t have to (1) wake up before sunrise every Sunday to make sure I get to the laundromat early enough to snag a washer and dryer and (2) fork over $10.25 per a load of laundry. Or if I didn’t have to wash every fucking dish and utensil by hand. Or if my home had heat and/or air in every room instead of only one (heat (which have only in the living room) or none (AC). A DREAM.

ENJOYING the few weeks of regular weather and temperatures Portland will get after a scorching-hot summer and before it turns wet and cloudy and cold for months and months on end. (For those who are unfamiliar: the 11 seasons of Oregon.)

EXPERIMENTING with drying bouquets. The internet told me to tie the stems tightly with twine (check) and hang the bouquet upside-down (check) in a dark space (check). The dark space, the internet says, is essential to keeping color. This bouquet is one I made at a flower arranging class over the summer. I tied it tightly with twine and hung it upside-down in our very dark and very tiny coat closet that’s home to many things, none of which are coats. This photo was taken several weeks later. I love how vibrant the colors still are.

A dried bouquet of flowers being held upside down by yours truly. The reds, pinks, oranges, and yellows of the flowers have retained their color pretty well after weeks of drying in a dark coat closet.

FINISHING up my first-ever block of conjugate training. Given how incredibly boring I generally find powerlifting to be, I’m surprised by how much I’m enjoying. I think the variability and the novelty that it adds are keeping me interested.

LISTENING (again) to the podcast I Said No Gifts, which might just be my all-time favorite podcast, from the beginning. Bridger is so fucking funny.

LOOKING for a local shop to buy an old-school (and functional!) Walkman from. It’s the only thing my ninth-grader asked for for his birthday—I can’t not come through. (I’m also looking for at least one local repair shop that would be able to fix the thing if it broke.)

LOVING the end-of-summer bouquet I bought myself this week. (The flowers in this bouquet were grown and arranged by the same flower farmer and florist who grew and arranged the flowers in the gorgeous bouquet I brought to the Howells a few weeks ago. (Yes, I plan to dry this bouquet, too.)

The same fresh, beautiful, end-of summer bouquet of pink, orange, and white dahlias and snapdragons and lots of green filler plants featured above, just from a different angle.

MISSING running and hiking. Still/always. I recently found all my old race bibs while digging through boxes looking for something else, and I’ve been working on finishing up a hiking-related memorykeeping project, so that feeling has been especially acute lately.

MOURNING the hours of daylight fall has stolen (stolen!!!) from us (me, personally!!!). 

PREPARING to add weightlifting back into my training beginning Monday. I’m so goddamn excited. (This means I’ll have six barbell sessions a week—four powerlifting sessions and two weightlifting sessions. Mondays and Thursdays will have both a powerlifting and a weightlifting session. Tuesdays and Fridays will be just powerlifting.)

REALIZING that bouldering is much more challenging and difficult than I thought it was going to be. Am I even cut out for it? TBD.

Kelsey climbing up an easy route on an indoor bouldering wall.

STRESSING about—what else?—the election. 

TAKING photos for a new project I’ve dreamt up that was inspired by two different projects by two fellow local Redditors.

TRYING to get back into a regular memorykeeping routine with a weekly-ish Project Life album

WAITING (very impatiently!) for the two rolls of film I dropped off last week to be developed. Both rolls were from disposable cameras—one from nearly 20 years ago when my oldest was a toddler (the waterproof one) and another shot by my youngest a few summers ago. Will any of the photos on the oldest roll turn out? Who knows! I can’t wait to find out.

Holding two disposable cameras in my hand outside a local shop that still develops film on-site.

WANTING to visit Hopscotch Portland

WONDERING who will headline Warped Tour 2025. My vote always and forever is for blink-182. 

* * *

Of the bloggers I used to follow and admire and find inspiration from, Elise is the only one who’s kept her blog up, though she no longer blogs (she fully quit the internet last year). To get a better idea of these types of posts, you can browse through her old “currently” and “around here” posts here (click or tap “older posts” at the bottom of the page to keep browsing).

Quit job, start blog

On October 9, 2023, I wrote a list in my phone titled “Things I would do if I had the confidence, patience, time, spoons, in-person community to help/support me from day to day, etc.” There are 14 items on that list. The first two? “Quit my job” and “Start blogging again.”

Screenshot of a note in my phone titled "Things I would do if I had the confidence, patience, time, spoons, in-person community to help/support me from day to day, etc." It's time- and date-stamped October 9, 2023 at 12:58 pm. It includes the following 14 items in the following order:

1. Quit my job
2. Start blogging again
3. Learn to skateboard
4. Write the memoir I've spent the last decade wanting to write (or at least, writer a personal narrative essay collection)
5. Start doing "real" photography again
6. Learn to figure skate
7. Take pole dancing classes
8. Go rock climbing and bouldering
9. Archery
10. Publish a zine of photos I take of street art
11. Writer that essay about the Virgin Mary and the color blue that I've been outlining in my head for almost 4 years
12. Start memorykeeping again
13. Publish that essay I wrote about why blue is the color of cops
14. Finish the essay I started on Glassman, CrossFit, Conservatism, and evangelical Christianity

A month after beginning this list, on November 9, I quit my job. And now, a month after that, on December 9, at way-too-early-o’clock on a Saturday morning because of course the one day a week I don’t have to wake up to an alarm my brain decides I should be up hours before sunrise, I’m starting this blog.

Yes, I caught it: 9-9-9. No, I didn’t plan it. I also didn’t plan for the first two items on my list to be the first two that I crossed off it—and in the order they’re listed, no less.

I’ve no idea where this blog will go or how frequently I’ll post or how long it’ll last. I do know that this blog will be a personal blog (a long-lost and much-missed relic of the [g]olden days of the internet), hence the title and tagline, and that I’d like to keep this thing going for as long as it feels good and fun.

That last bit is especially important. I don’t want this blog to feel like a job, and I don’t want to feel like anything/everything that I share here has to be “perfectly” crafted. I won’t be following any sort of must-do blogging formula or format. I won’t be optimizing my posts for SEO. I won’t be plastering this thing with pop-ups or sponsored content or other ads. And I doubt I’ll be finding or creating a niche or sticking to one topic.

As was customary in pre-social media personal blogging, I imagine this blog will be a combination digital diary/scrapbook/file cabinet/to-do list/notebook, and will include all sorts of things (hence the “etc.” part of its title): photo dumps, link round-ups, book reviews, personal/creative projects I’m working on, thoughts on parenthood, my experiences as an autistic and chronically mentally ill person, people and things that inspire me, people and things that enrage me, trauma and therapy, activism and advocacy and organizing, COVID (which is still a real big, real bad thing), a record at my attempts to complete various items on my “Things I’d do…” list, etc.

What I’m saying is: I’m going to let this thing become whatever it’s meant to be. And I hope that what it’ll be is place for me to organize and quiet my chaotic brain, which, by the way, feels like this:

Screenshot of a tweet from @pappapeppapig dated December 6, 2023, and featuring an image of tons and tons of open browser tabs squished together on multiple lines and a caption that reads, "brain feels like this." 

This image is truly the most accurate representation of my autistic brain I've ever seen.
Truly, the most accurate representation of my autistic brain that I’ve ever seen.

I also hope this blog will help me find community (I am very lonely), and that it’ll help other people feel less alone in their thoughts and experiences, too. And as long as you’re not a fascist or bigot or other variety of asshole, I’m happy to have you along for the ride. Hello, welcome, thank you for being here, etc.