Four weeks ago, I went for a hike. It was my first in nearly three years, after a few very bad episodes of mental illness on several different trails during the 2022 season rattled me so badly that I stopped hiking—a thing I love to do—altogether.

I hiked Angel’s Rest. I chose this trail because I’m familiar with it, it’s not strenuous or long, there’s no exposure, it’s close to home, and I know I have service the entire way (having service was important to me for this first hike back; in case mental illness things started happening, I could easily text/call someone).

I went early on a weekday, pulling into the parking lot just as the sun began to rise. This is the ideal arrival time for me. I’m an early morning person and I prefer to hike alone alone—to go by myself and to be by myself.

Shortly after I arrived, my brain began to bully me and after several minutes I actually drove away. I U-turned right before hitting the interstate on-ramp, headed back to the trailhead parking lot, re-parked my car, and spent the next 45 minutes negotiating with my brain. Once I got my shit together, I texted details about my hike to a friend, double-checked that I was sharing my location with her, and then I started.

This was my third time hiking this trail and my second-favorite experience of it. The first time I hiked it, in late May 2022, it was frigid and barren. I hiked it again two months later, in late July 2022, and it was gorgeous. Breathtaking, even. Everything was in full bloom and it was much more colorful and lush. This time around, it was in between—plenty of greenery, not much other color and not many blooms yet, hence the lack of photos.

Shortly before the false summit, there’s a large boulder the size of a small boulder on the edge of a bend in the trail. It’s my favorite part of the hike. Each time I’ve hiked this trail, I’ve gotten photos of me atop it. I love repetition in memorykeeping; it’s fun to have multiple iterations of the (essentially) same composition and subject.

I’m glad I chose this trail for my first return-from-mental-illness hike. Aside from the first few minutes in the parking lot, my brain behaved and I had a really good time. All of the reasons I picked it—I’m familiar with it, it’s not strenuous or long, there’s no exposure, it’s close to home, and I know I have service the entire way—are what made it a success.

Having a good experience gave me the confidence to try another hike the following week and now, four weeks later, I’ve hiked four more trails—one a week for the last four weeks—and have survived each both physically and mentally unscathed: I haven’t been serial-killed or attacked by wildlife or—and this is the real accomplishment—yeeted myself off a cliff.

I plan to continue hiking once a week for the next three weeks. After that, my high-schooler will be back in school and the rhythm of our days will change. I don’t yet know how hiking will fit into them. I’d like to keep hiking through mid-October. If these two summer months end up being it for my 2025 season, that’s okay. I logged many more miles on the trail this summer than I expected to and I’m so grateful that I did. I’ve missed hiking so badly and I’m beyond happy to be back. I feel more like myself when I’m out there.

Post-hike, I picked up a mini pizza from a pizza place that I loved as a kid (and still love as an adult) and set up shop with it and a library book under the tree out front, where I spent the entire rest of my afternoon and evening. A dream. I love being outside (during nice weather).

After I got home and before I set up outside, I filled in the entry for this hike in my Letterfolk Hike Passport, while the details I wanted to include were still fresh. In keeping with the format I’ve followed for this project so far, I’ll eventually have a photo from the hike professionally printed and staple it to that dot-grid page (the Instax photos will be clipped to inside of the back cover).

The yellow flower-shaped clip is from a pack of Midori P-51 clips, which I’m almost certain I bought at Cargo but may have picked up at Oblation (two local stores I love). You can find these clips in various shapes in a number of online stationery shops.